i can get married.

...officially, to my future boyfriend. today, canada becomes only the third country in the world behind belgium and the netherlands to officially allow same sex unions. it is a historic day.

when i heard about this, at first i was neither shocked not overwhelmed. i had to think about how i felt about it. i thought that maybe i won't fully comprehend the gravity of this day until i face the decision myself to enter in such a convenant with someone. thus, for the most part, today seemed to be another day.

growing up catholic and in a very conservative culture, i am lucky to be accepted whole heartedly by my friends, colleagues, and my immediate family. it hasn't always been like this however -- it has been a long evolution. most of the trauma that i experienced stemmed with forming my own identity of self and how that related to my sexuality. throughout my coming out process i maintained that i was always randy first and then gay second. being gay was just another part of me, but didn't define me. to me, to best way to fight homophobia and ignorance, the most effective means to educate and empower those that did not understand the why and how of being gay was in my one on one relationships with the people around me. i couldn't change the world all at once, but instead one person at a time. to let people see my humanity, that i was just like them, that i wanted the some of the same things, and some different things.

so this whole same sex marriage thing is a big deal . it says that i have the right to enter into a partnership that is recognized by my peers, my society and my country (though maybe not all of it right now). but most importantly it confirms what i have maintained all along, that love does not discriminate, that we do not choose who we love, but love finds us. it is a gift that makes us human, binds us and transcends us. maybe when i find that love, i will get married or maybe i won't, but today confirms that i can truly have that gift in a full way.

today is a big day indeed.