[vancouver]
remember, and let them know how you feel today.
with the holidays here, as well as the end of the year, it seems to be a natural time to take stock and take note of things in our lives, where we are, where we have been, and where we are going -- at least it is for me. christmas, i've realized is really a time for friends and family -- a natural and convenient time to reach out more than usual, to spend some time with those who love us and who we love. as i age and change, i realize that it is all too easy to be insular and jadded by all the hoopla, and what it means or does not mean to me right now.

last thursday, my childhood friend richelle passed away. she had been diagnosed with uterine cancer two years ago. she was only 32.
our families first became intertwined when we lived in saskatchewan. my early childhood is filled with many memories of family parties, outings, vacations, camping, etc with richelle her family and all of our close friends that became 'family'. when we moved to bc, and when they moved to california, we still kept in touch, often staying with them everytime we visited california. every christmas we would receive chirstmas cards from them, birthday cards with little gifts, and letters filled with stories and photographs about their lives.

in university, we managed to grow apart, however when we did see each other, it was as if nothing had passed. but it seems out of sight, out of mind seem to win out in our case of friendship, for when she sent me an invitation to her wedding in 2001, i did not even respond, or even send a card. later in that year, i found out she was diagnosed with cancer, i felt so bad, and only sent her an email after the fact. of course she replied, in her usual chipper self, without even mention of what she was going through.

i never called her because i felt bad, and because i never knew what i was going to say. but instead of thinking about me, i should have been thinking how she was feeling and going through. about the love of her life, about her family, her career, about her mortality.

lesson learned. never leave anything unsaid. take the time to express how you really feel inside today.